Kind Ambition

Americans like their extremes.  From extreme sports to extreme make-overs, there’s something about pushing to the extreme that entices us.  It’s almost as if something “measured” or “centrist” gets branded as wimpy or not taking a stand.  We raise the threshold to a point where the joy of our normal lives can’t compete with what’s on television or the media’s quick-cut-edited versions of life.  This seeps into our emotional tastes as well.  People don’t see their everyday lives and relationships as “exciting enough,” so they add drama to ramp things up.  This never improves real lives, and usually has a downside.

In the real world, everything is gradients and degrees.  Nothing is Always.  Everything is Sometimes.  All or nothing is an exciting, extreme that sells products, gets people jazzed, and increases your stress level.  If there’s anything we need to do these days for our health and well being, it’s to lower that stress level, and stress is a function of extreme perspectives.  All or nothing is life or death.  This is flight or fight adrenaline stimulation at its subtlest. Try this yourself.  You’ll feel much more stress saying “I’ll never find a job,” than you will saying, “I wonder if today I’ll find a job?”  You’ll feel much more stress saying, “I never get what I want,” than saying, “maybe I’ll do better next time.”  Extremes are all about creating life or death adrenaline, and that isn’t a good position for long-term decision-making. Read more »